Answered Prayers

I wish I wasn't always so surprised by the way Heavenly Father answers prayers, especially when it happens in such a specific way. I know He loves me and that I am his daughter, so why should such wonderful blessings from heaven come as a surprise to me?

The other night I went to bed exhausted, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I knew that a good nights rest would take care of the physical, then I might have more energy to work on the emotional and spiritual exhaustion I was dealing with. My plan worked for a little while, I snuggled into bed and started to doze off. Then, out of no where, it all hit me like a brick and I lay there in bed stewing over all of the issues that were beating me down.

If there is one thing I am learning as I get older, it is that lying in bed worrying about problems is not the way to get them handled. In fact, it makes everything a lot harder to deal with. I struggled for a while, my emotions were taking over and getting me worked up to the point that I was about ready to jump out of bed and get to the computer to send off a few weird emails - - - in an attempt to bring some type of resolution. Not a very good idea.

Thankfully, right then my spirit started to have some say.

I started to think of my Heavenly Father. I know He wants me to be happy and have joy in my life. I also know that He has power to overcome what might seem insurmountable to myself. So, my heart prayed to my Heavenly Father to help me not feel so sad, so rejected, so unloved. I prayed to the point I was pleading, I was begging my Father in Heaven to help these feelings rest, even if just for the night so that I could get some sleep. Then I could deal with them in the morning, that was all I wanted.

And that is exactly what I was blessed with that night. I soon drifted off to sleep and when I woke that morning, all of that anxiety of these troubles was right back in my mind. However, physically, I felt pretty good. And with that strength I felt lighter and more capable. I spent the morning racing around getting us ready for church, my worries really had to take a back seat for a little while longer.

Then it happened. I was sitting in Relief Society with a dear friend on one side and many other sweet sisters all around, and these painful feelings inside started to dissipate. Then, I realized that the lesson and discussion were right in line with what I had been struggling with last night, very specifically, I might add. A sister shared an example of something that had been meaningful to her in dealing with similar feelings and situations, and, of course, it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Almost immediately my heart was healed, it felt full, it felt healed. I knew I had my safe place in this world and safe people to surround me. I knew that everything would be okay and that the disappointments I would have to deal with from time to time would come and go, but there would always be someone for me to turn to.

I knew, without a doubt, that my Heavenly Father heard and answered my prayers.

When we arrived home from church, I felt lighter and stronger. I was ready to deal with some of the problems that had kept me awake the night before. As I set out to review them again, I found that they had been resolved. I don't know why, but for some reason they were all taken care of.

Perhaps I had this experience because I needed to feel pain and seek my Heavenly Father, perhaps that was what He wanted for me from the beginning, a humbler, more teachable daughter. When I did that, He took care of the rest in a series of sweet, loving little miracles.

I'm so glad I believe in miracles.

Ring Out the Old, Ring In the New

I have a great big section of my heart reserved for those who have been able to put their thoughts and hopes and testimonies to verse and to music. The hymns we sing in church each week often carry a message that is beautiful and direct and full of wisdom and hope. As you can probably tell, from my writing, I am not particularly blessed in this area of verse and beautiful language, but I have a great admiration and respect for those that do.

I start with all of this because today in church we sang, "Ring Out, Wild Bells". It is a beautiful song that I have sung many times, usually this same week every year. The words are those of Alfred Tennyson and the music was written by Crawford Gates. Both the lyrics and the music combine to have an almost foreboding air to it through the entire song until it wraps up so beautifully and decidedly at the very last note of the song. It is amazing that by just changing one note a half step, we can attain an amazing resolution and completion. And I don't think I ever appreciated the significance of that until I sat wrestling my four children in church today, trying to make it through the end of the meeting.

By changing just one little thing, harmony and hope can be a part of our lives. We can be in conflict or turmoil or duress, and can be brought to resolution by turning our thoughts and hopes to our Savior Jesus Christ. The song goes through verses of clouds and dying and night and comes to the true resolution of all of our lives in the final verse, that which can only be offered by our Lord. The words of the last verse jumped off the page at me today:

"Ring in the valiant men and free,

The larger heart, the kindlier hand.

Ring out the darkness of the land;

Ring in the Christ that is to be.

Ring out the darkness of the land;

Ring in the Christ that is to be."

As the lyrics move in the direction of focusing on Christ, the music moves with it and we are given a wonderful lesson and example to use in our own lives. We are all affected by difficulties and sadness, we all live in a land that seems to be growing darker and colder as time goes on. The tone in the backgrounds of our lives might seem dismal at times, but if we can all turn our focus to our Savior and to having love and kindness in our lives, a beautiful harmony can replace it.

As I type this I am certain that this will only make sense to my own heart, but I need to express gratitude for these words and music because of what they have spoken to my heart today. The larger heart and kindlier hand have become my goals for this year, overcoming the darkness of the land is my lifelong goal and focusing on my Savior Jesus Christ is my eternal goal. They are all so beautifully defined by this song, how grateful I am that my heart was opened to this today.