I wish I wasn't always so surprised by the way Heavenly Father answers prayers, especially when it happens in such a specific way. I know He loves me and that I am his daughter, so why should such wonderful blessings from heaven come as a surprise to me?
The other night I went to bed exhausted, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I knew that a good nights rest would take care of the physical, then I might have more energy to work on the emotional and spiritual exhaustion I was dealing with. My plan worked for a little while, I snuggled into bed and started to doze off. Then, out of no where, it all hit me like a brick and I lay there in bed stewing over all of the issues that were beating me down.
If there is one thing I am learning as I get older, it is that lying in bed worrying about problems is not the way to get them handled. In fact, it makes everything a lot harder to deal with. I struggled for a while, my emotions were taking over and getting me worked up to the point that I was about ready to jump out of bed and get to the computer to send off a few weird emails - - - in an attempt to bring some type of resolution. Not a very good idea.
Thankfully, right then my spirit started to have some say.
I started to think of my Heavenly Father. I know He wants me to be happy and have joy in my life. I also know that He has power to overcome what might seem insurmountable to myself. So, my heart prayed to my Heavenly Father to help me not feel so sad, so rejected, so unloved. I prayed to the point I was pleading, I was begging my Father in Heaven to help these feelings rest, even if just for the night so that I could get some sleep. Then I could deal with them in the morning, that was all I wanted.
And that is exactly what I was blessed with that night. I soon drifted off to sleep and when I woke that morning, all of that anxiety of these troubles was right back in my mind. However, physically, I felt pretty good. And with that strength I felt lighter and more capable. I spent the morning racing around getting us ready for church, my worries really had to take a back seat for a little while longer.
Then it happened. I was sitting in Relief Society with a dear friend on one side and many other sweet sisters all around, and these painful feelings inside started to dissipate. Then, I realized that the lesson and discussion were right in line with what I had been struggling with last night, very specifically, I might add. A sister shared an example of something that had been meaningful to her in dealing with similar feelings and situations, and, of course, it was exactly what I needed to hear.
Almost immediately my heart was healed, it felt full, it felt healed. I knew I had my safe place in this world and safe people to surround me. I knew that everything would be okay and that the disappointments I would have to deal with from time to time would come and go, but there would always be someone for me to turn to.
I knew, without a doubt, that my Heavenly Father heard and answered my prayers.
When we arrived home from church, I felt lighter and stronger. I was ready to deal with some of the problems that had kept me awake the night before. As I set out to review them again, I found that they had been resolved. I don't know why, but for some reason they were all taken care of.
Perhaps I had this experience because I needed to feel pain and seek my Heavenly Father, perhaps that was what He wanted for me from the beginning, a humbler, more teachable daughter. When I did that, He took care of the rest in a series of sweet, loving little miracles.
I'm so glad I believe in miracles.
