It's funny how one little look or a comment from someone can create a reaction in you that will cause you to give a little look or say something that will have an effect on someone else. So, when I looked out over our congregation yesterday and saw tears from so many, I knew exactly where it all started ... our Stake President.
Yesterday we had our Primary Program. We have been working hard for this day and I have been allowed to continute working with the Primary children up through the program before I will be released (since my husband has been asked to serve in a rather demanding capacity - I am getting 'the boot'). Needless to say, yesterday was an emotional day for me and I was soaking in every moment I could. We were able to rehearse in prepare in a peaceful, calm manner and I was so relieved that I would be able to sit back and watch the children during the program without all the anxiety that has accompanied me during previous programs. My fantastic counselors had been so inspired to see and meet needs as they arose (sometimes even beforehand), and it felt like all was ready, down to the tiniest of details.
The children had been amazing, they worked hard, paid attention to the music leaders, and remained reverent while we went through the entire program. We stepped outside for a little treat and some running around, then back into the church to get in our seats to await the start of the program. As we were settling in our seats, a wonderfully kind sister introduced herself to me and told me she would be our biggest cheerleader that day, she is the first counselor in the Primary General Presidency. Instead of becoming overwhelmed and unnerved by her unexpected presence, I was bouyed up by her generous spirit and hug of assurance. My heart was lifted, and I looked around at the children, there were glowing smiles on all their faces and they were ready.
And what did I do with all this Heavenly Bliss? Of course, I wanted to bawl my eyes out. I love Primary, I love the children, I love the music, I don't want to leave, so how was I to make it through this program all in one piece? I had no idea, but I sat there waiting for it to start and hoping for the best.
When the Bishop turned the time over to us, I quickly moved to my small chair by the podium where I would be able to help the children and not really get in the way. That chair was directly across from our wonderful Stake President. No sooner had I sat down then he stuck his foot out to tap me and get my attention. When I looked up at him (a bit startled, might I add) - his calm, caring demeanor smiled on me and he whispered, "Enjoy it." His kindness and directness were overwhelming, he knew that I would be out of primary soon, and he knew how hard it has been for me to let go. He wanted me to make sure I took every advantage to sit back and watch the children and drink in their testimonies and beaming spirits. That's when the crying began. I wasn't sobbing or bawling, like I probably would have done had I been in seclusion. But there was a steady stream of happy, grateful tears running down my cheeks.
That's what started it, the Bishop noticed my tears, then he, too, somewhat affected shed a few of his own. The music leaders, upon seeing the Bishop shed a few themselves and then a few more up on the stand, looking out at the music leaders were now teary. Then some in the audience joined it. Before I knew it, there were glistening eyes filling our congregation. They came along with a sweet, loving gratitude for being able to listen to and learn from the sweet testimonies of our children. It was quite a site.
Had our sweet Stake President not given me that initial nudge and caring advice, well, I don't think there would have been as big a run on the Kleenex as there was. How grateful I am to him for helping me open my heart and listen, and enjoy those beautiful children as they sang, spoke and shined during that sweet, Sunday program.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Inspiration
I love my husband.
He is such a great leader to me and our family. He might not seem it to our acquaintences, but he is a very spiritual person. I knew that, and that is one of the big reasons I married him.
I have had a recent situation that has shown me how inspired he is and how we can all receive that inspiration in our personal lives.
Recently I have had a bit of a situation that required my attention. There was a change in a program I am over for church that needed to happen. This would require a meeting with some who might not be so receptive to change. I knew that the change needed to happen, and I did not doubt that, but I find it difficult to build up the courage to take on opposition.
The first step was to make a phone call. The call was not easy, the other person was quite offended and hurt by my suggestions. This was all done with the most kindness I could generate. But the other person met me with a great deal of resistance. Normally, I would have been very intimidated. I would have become flustered and emotional and probably even backed down (this is why I would have never ventured into the business world). On my own, I am very weak. But, during this phone call I knew I had the Lord behind me. This change was necessary for the good of the children in the program, all the children. So, I stuck it out through the conversation (with much divinly appointed ease) and when I hung up, my sweet husband who was at my side the entire time said that it sounded like it all went well. The fact is, however, it did not go well, the other person was very emotional, hurt and offended by my suggestions. What really struck me about my husband's comment is that I was blessed beyond belief to keep calm, kind and composed throughout this situation. It was even easy, I knew that what I was doing was right and I knew the Lord wanted this to happen. And for someone like myself, that in itself was a miracle, and I immediately recognized it as such.
Despite the difficult phone call, we were still able to set up a meeting time to work out all the details. I was very anxious for the meeting. I prayed all week for the other person, that her heart would be lifted and she would know that this was not a personal attack. I prayed that we would be able to work together amicably to keep a great program great. But I still was dreading the actual meeting.
I asked for and received a priesthood blessing the night before, and peace was returned to my heart.
That morning as my sweet husband kissed me goodbye before leaving for work - he mentioned that I should read the recent conference talk by President Eyring, "Our Hearts Knit as One". I remembered that I had been impressed by it as I listened, but couldn't remember all the details. So I took a few minutes to read over that morning. It was very thorough about the topic of Unity, then I read the following and knew that my husband had been inspired to encourage me to read that specific talk before my meeting. President Eyring said:
"Happily I am seeing more and more skillful peacemakers who calm troubled waters before harm is done. You could be one of those peacemakers, whether you are in the conflict or an observer.
One way I have seen it done is to search for anything on which we agree. To be that peacemaker, you need to have the simple faith that as children of God, with all our differences, it is likely that in a strong position we take, there will be elements of truth. The great peacemaker, the restorer of unity, is the one who finds a way to help people see the truth they share. That truth they share is always greater and more important to them than their differences. You can help yourself and others to see that common ground if you ask for help from God and then act. He will answer your prayer to help restore peace, as He has mine."
I knew what I needed to do in the meeting - find the common ground. So my prayers changed to that, asking for help to be able to recognize our common ground and bring that to the forefront.
As we sat in our meeting, my anxiety quieted, we prayed and peace was there. After going over a few details, the common ground was revealed to me and I was able to make sure that all our plans worked around that. The other person involved who had been hurt and offended seemed much softer and we really seemed to be able to come together for this program. We met on the common ground and there was peace.
I felt so relieved and so happy, I did not want to make an enemy out of this person, she has been my neighbor for years and hopefully many more to come.
There were still a few little things to work out, but the majority of the issues seemed to be dealt with on both sides. That is until one big rift came up later. The plans we had made had to be juggled around and tweaked a little bit more and I didn't know how to do that and stay on the common ground that we had found. Again, anxiety and sadness entered. Here we had found such a peaceful resolution to our problem and now that was null and void. Any solution I could come up with would take us away from our common ground.
So, I turned to this sweet lady and presented the issue and the possible solutions I could see. I told her that a decision needed to be made soon and invited her ideas. Through her faith and prayers, a solution was found that would be beneficial to everyone involved. The inspiration seemed to flow wherever it was needed throughout this process and I was so grateful to be able to see the Lord's hand guiding us to freely as we were striving to make this program work amidst necessary changes.
The Lord answered my prayers, He answered my husband's prayers and He answered the prayers of this sister, wherever the inspiration was needed and would be best received and utilized, that is where it seemed to go.
The Lord loves us dearly and is aware of the details of our lives, and will grant unto us according to our righteous desires.
My desire was to be a peacemaker, and so it was.
He is such a great leader to me and our family. He might not seem it to our acquaintences, but he is a very spiritual person. I knew that, and that is one of the big reasons I married him.
I have had a recent situation that has shown me how inspired he is and how we can all receive that inspiration in our personal lives.
Recently I have had a bit of a situation that required my attention. There was a change in a program I am over for church that needed to happen. This would require a meeting with some who might not be so receptive to change. I knew that the change needed to happen, and I did not doubt that, but I find it difficult to build up the courage to take on opposition.
The first step was to make a phone call. The call was not easy, the other person was quite offended and hurt by my suggestions. This was all done with the most kindness I could generate. But the other person met me with a great deal of resistance. Normally, I would have been very intimidated. I would have become flustered and emotional and probably even backed down (this is why I would have never ventured into the business world). On my own, I am very weak. But, during this phone call I knew I had the Lord behind me. This change was necessary for the good of the children in the program, all the children. So, I stuck it out through the conversation (with much divinly appointed ease) and when I hung up, my sweet husband who was at my side the entire time said that it sounded like it all went well. The fact is, however, it did not go well, the other person was very emotional, hurt and offended by my suggestions. What really struck me about my husband's comment is that I was blessed beyond belief to keep calm, kind and composed throughout this situation. It was even easy, I knew that what I was doing was right and I knew the Lord wanted this to happen. And for someone like myself, that in itself was a miracle, and I immediately recognized it as such.
Despite the difficult phone call, we were still able to set up a meeting time to work out all the details. I was very anxious for the meeting. I prayed all week for the other person, that her heart would be lifted and she would know that this was not a personal attack. I prayed that we would be able to work together amicably to keep a great program great. But I still was dreading the actual meeting.
I asked for and received a priesthood blessing the night before, and peace was returned to my heart.
That morning as my sweet husband kissed me goodbye before leaving for work - he mentioned that I should read the recent conference talk by President Eyring, "Our Hearts Knit as One". I remembered that I had been impressed by it as I listened, but couldn't remember all the details. So I took a few minutes to read over that morning. It was very thorough about the topic of Unity, then I read the following and knew that my husband had been inspired to encourage me to read that specific talk before my meeting. President Eyring said:
"Happily I am seeing more and more skillful peacemakers who calm troubled waters before harm is done. You could be one of those peacemakers, whether you are in the conflict or an observer.
One way I have seen it done is to search for anything on which we agree. To be that peacemaker, you need to have the simple faith that as children of God, with all our differences, it is likely that in a strong position we take, there will be elements of truth. The great peacemaker, the restorer of unity, is the one who finds a way to help people see the truth they share. That truth they share is always greater and more important to them than their differences. You can help yourself and others to see that common ground if you ask for help from God and then act. He will answer your prayer to help restore peace, as He has mine."
I knew what I needed to do in the meeting - find the common ground. So my prayers changed to that, asking for help to be able to recognize our common ground and bring that to the forefront.
As we sat in our meeting, my anxiety quieted, we prayed and peace was there. After going over a few details, the common ground was revealed to me and I was able to make sure that all our plans worked around that. The other person involved who had been hurt and offended seemed much softer and we really seemed to be able to come together for this program. We met on the common ground and there was peace.
I felt so relieved and so happy, I did not want to make an enemy out of this person, she has been my neighbor for years and hopefully many more to come.
There were still a few little things to work out, but the majority of the issues seemed to be dealt with on both sides. That is until one big rift came up later. The plans we had made had to be juggled around and tweaked a little bit more and I didn't know how to do that and stay on the common ground that we had found. Again, anxiety and sadness entered. Here we had found such a peaceful resolution to our problem and now that was null and void. Any solution I could come up with would take us away from our common ground.
So, I turned to this sweet lady and presented the issue and the possible solutions I could see. I told her that a decision needed to be made soon and invited her ideas. Through her faith and prayers, a solution was found that would be beneficial to everyone involved. The inspiration seemed to flow wherever it was needed throughout this process and I was so grateful to be able to see the Lord's hand guiding us to freely as we were striving to make this program work amidst necessary changes.
The Lord answered my prayers, He answered my husband's prayers and He answered the prayers of this sister, wherever the inspiration was needed and would be best received and utilized, that is where it seemed to go.
The Lord loves us dearly and is aware of the details of our lives, and will grant unto us according to our righteous desires.
My desire was to be a peacemaker, and so it was.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Slow to Learn
Yesterday was one of those days that went from okay to bad to really good to mad to complacent. And if I weren't so slow to learn, I am pretty sure that I could have stuck with the really good for the rest of the day. But, due to my own choices, it didn't happen that way.
Yesterday I had a few things happen in the morning where people were less than kind, that got me in a bad mood. Then something happened that was really bad and put me in a really bad place. I felt very alone, very unloved and almost hopeless. I wondered why it seemed that no one out there (minus my wonderful family) couldn't seem to have anything nice to say or do for me that day. Yes, I was having a huge pity party. I knew I didn't want to spend the day like this so I just had a constant prayer in my heart that someone out there could be nice to me. That's all I wanted and felt like I needed, one kind gesture.
We went to run a few errands and I kind of got busy and tried to forgot about everything. Then it happened, someone pulled me aside and talked to me. She is a friend of my sister's that I have met just a few times, but she remembered me and stopped me to chat. She was very friendly and kind and my heart started to lighten. As I left that conversation, I needed to hurry to the cashier to pay so that I could go and pick up the girls from school. Turns out I went to the nicest cashier that store has ever seen. She smiled, asked me how I was, helped me cheerfully and then added a very kind, "Have a nice day" as I gathered my things and left. My heart lightened even more, then as I left the store, a young mother and her daughter that were coming in just smiled and said "Hi" to us. So sweet, so simple and such an answer to prayers. The heaviness of the day had lifted and I was filled with hope and sweetness.
A great way to finish out the day!
Too bad I couldn't trust Heavenly Father enough to just leave it at that. I returned home and ended up calling up all the yucky feelings of the day, reporting them to others and, in my own little spoiled way, seeking their pity. I received it. I gathered in lots of pity, my hurt feelings were very well justified and I was able to gather tons of support. And did I feel any better? No, things were worse. Anger started filling my heart and hopelessness joined in.
I had been given a wonderful gift from Heavenly Father, and I embraced in and was very grateful for it. But somehow, I still had to trade this wonderful gift from heaven for earthly condolences. I traded hope and happiness for anger and justification. I don't think that was a very good trade. I hope I can do better, and I hope Heavenly Father will give me more chances. I hope He won't look at me and see that I have squandered some of the sweet gifts He has given me and not be so willing to help me in the future. I hope the sorrow I feel in my heart for not trusting Him enough will help me to be a stronger person.
I think I understand the scripture about seeking treasures from Heaven and knowing where your heart REALLY is even better today. I hope I can change.
I hope I will learn.
Yesterday I had a few things happen in the morning where people were less than kind, that got me in a bad mood. Then something happened that was really bad and put me in a really bad place. I felt very alone, very unloved and almost hopeless. I wondered why it seemed that no one out there (minus my wonderful family) couldn't seem to have anything nice to say or do for me that day. Yes, I was having a huge pity party. I knew I didn't want to spend the day like this so I just had a constant prayer in my heart that someone out there could be nice to me. That's all I wanted and felt like I needed, one kind gesture.
We went to run a few errands and I kind of got busy and tried to forgot about everything. Then it happened, someone pulled me aside and talked to me. She is a friend of my sister's that I have met just a few times, but she remembered me and stopped me to chat. She was very friendly and kind and my heart started to lighten. As I left that conversation, I needed to hurry to the cashier to pay so that I could go and pick up the girls from school. Turns out I went to the nicest cashier that store has ever seen. She smiled, asked me how I was, helped me cheerfully and then added a very kind, "Have a nice day" as I gathered my things and left. My heart lightened even more, then as I left the store, a young mother and her daughter that were coming in just smiled and said "Hi" to us. So sweet, so simple and such an answer to prayers. The heaviness of the day had lifted and I was filled with hope and sweetness.
A great way to finish out the day!
Too bad I couldn't trust Heavenly Father enough to just leave it at that. I returned home and ended up calling up all the yucky feelings of the day, reporting them to others and, in my own little spoiled way, seeking their pity. I received it. I gathered in lots of pity, my hurt feelings were very well justified and I was able to gather tons of support. And did I feel any better? No, things were worse. Anger started filling my heart and hopelessness joined in.
I had been given a wonderful gift from Heavenly Father, and I embraced in and was very grateful for it. But somehow, I still had to trade this wonderful gift from heaven for earthly condolences. I traded hope and happiness for anger and justification. I don't think that was a very good trade. I hope I can do better, and I hope Heavenly Father will give me more chances. I hope He won't look at me and see that I have squandered some of the sweet gifts He has given me and not be so willing to help me in the future. I hope the sorrow I feel in my heart for not trusting Him enough will help me to be a stronger person.
I think I understand the scripture about seeking treasures from Heaven and knowing where your heart REALLY is even better today. I hope I can change.
I hope I will learn.
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